When parent’s often complain that their child doesn’t listen to them; that they play video games instead of completing the homework, or they are too lazy to complete their tasks, etc. and that they have to yell at and run behind the child to get things done, I know that the problem is that he/she is not a responsible Kid. This is what happens when the child does not have the sense of responsibility. We as humans are not born with responsibility but later inculcate it into our lives. We need to teach our children too, how to be responsible kids. But first, we need to understand what the ‘Responsible’ means.
Responsibility encompasses respect and love for others; equality; developing self control, courage and, most importantly, independence.
How do we raise ‘responsible’ kids?
Give responsibility: if you want to have responsible kids, you need to give them real responsibilities. Give them tasks that you really do at home that shall be age appropriate for the child. That way you can make them realize that each family member are responsible for their tasks and not doing of any task can lead to a problem in managing the house.
Decision making: Let the child make his decisions. You can offer your guidance and advice to him but let the final decision be his. When the outcome of the decision is good, the child will feel competent and self confident. If the decision is wrong, the child will learn from his experience and hopefully not repeat it the next time. That is how you will have responsible kids.
Problem solving: Give your child the freedom to solve his/ her own problems. That way they will be able to experience responsibility. If they break any moral/ ethical value, they shall be given the freedom to understand how to amend the same rules and work upon the mistake.
Start young: To have responsible kids, inculcate the sense of responsibility from an early age because if you wait till the child is in her teens to teach this, it will be met with resistance and rebellious behaviour.
Let them take ownership: Let the child take ownership for his actions, possessions, tasks, etc. Let him know the consequences of not doing his tasks. Example–Let him clean up his room after play. Make him responsible for the toys and assorted things in his room. Tell him he cannot watch TV till he has tidied his room.
Courage: One of the aspects of being responsible is having the courage to say things that are true and having the courage to face one and all without fear. You need to set principles at home to make the child realize the value of ‘truthfulness’. You can help your child understand that a mistake leads to consequence. At the same time letting him know the fact that every human makes a mistake and learns even more from the mistakes he make. Hence it is essential to have courage to say what you feel and not fear consequence.
Respect: Teach them to be compassionate, to love and respect all and to address everyone with love.
Routine: Ask the child to maintain a sort of time table for his daily activities. That will help the child be more structured. He will then not need a parent to keep reminding him, thus being a little independent.
Help the younger babies: If you have two or more children in the house, you can enlist the help of the older child in managing the younger one/s. This will not only make the elder one feel more responsible but will also foster a positive relationship between the siblings. The task that you assign to the child should be appropriate for his age and not too difficult or challenging. Also the task should be such that it doesn’t impact the younger child’s development adversely. Example of simple tasks- asking the older kid to get the diaper from the cupboard or to sing songs to the baby, etc
Model responsibility: Kids learn from their parents. Hence, always remember, the way you deal with your tasks and decision making, the same manner will be followed by your child.
Basic Life Skills: As children grow, they need to learn basic life skills to be independent. Hence teaching them the basics of cooking, home making, grocery, paying bills, savings, etc is useful.
