For most of the challenges we face in life, we aren’t prepped for at school. Dealing with life’s challenges is known as Life Skills. These are skills that we learn over time. Some examples of Life Skills are communicating rightly, accepting ourselves, learning to be organised, etcetera.
Everyone experiences fear when facing a new situation. Schools don’t teach us how to deal with such fears. But in order to achieve success we must overcome fear. The thing that scares us should be the one that we face first. Overcoming fear will only make us more confident.
Aristotle rightly said, “He who has overcome his fear will truly be free”.
Many clients have told me of their problem/ fear/ anxiety of communicating with strangers or in public.
This is one of the most common forms of fear– the fear of public speaking or fear of speaking on stage. Its scientific name is Glossophobia. Fear arises out of ambiguity or not knowing something.
What really happens to you when you have stage fright? Numbness, butterflies in stomach, nausea, perspiration, sweaty palms, panic and anxiety. That is when you feel like avoiding to speak in public.
Another great proverb said that “All the good speakers were once bad speakers”. This indeed is true. So what is it that made these speakers turn into great ones? Based on my personal experience, let me assure you that overcoming this fear is not so dreadful. Just follow these pointers and you should be fine.
- Know your talk: Having dreadful thoughts and anxiety that make you shiver on stage or make you feel choked is because you are worried about forgetting your speech. Believe me, your anxiety would be much lesser if you knew exactly what you wanted to speak. If you rehearsed well the matter that you had to present, over and over again, you might feel more confident when you are up there.
- Know what your fear really is: Are you worried about your topic or about the audience? Once you know the real reason behind your stage fright, you can start focusing on or practising everything around your fear. Advance preparation helps in dealing with these issues.
- It is after all anxiety: The fear of performance makes us anxious. So, what to do? Try calming yourself through breathing techniques. Every time you are anxious, your mind is filled with negative thoughts. Deal with them or calm them in order to feel relaxed or less anxious. Going for a walk, engaging all of your senses, listening to music are some of the other things that you could try.
- Practice in the space: If possible, go to the place where you are supposed to present and rehearse in that space. You can walk over the stage and pretend to face your audience. Say your speech aloud and hear yourself. This is the best practice to overcome your fear. You will be facing your anxiety on this stage and this is where you will need to learn how to control it through your relaxation or breathing techniques.
- Practice daily: If you’re worried about your speech style, your articulation, your pauses, etc, the best way to groom is by bringing a difference in your everyday conversations. The more you start paying attention to your daily way of talking, the more you groom yourself. The next time you get on that stage, you will definitely be less conscious about your speech. You could also record yourself and play it back to get to know your faults. Role play with your friends and family, making them the audience. Ask them to give you feedback and then work upon them. Time yourself and work on the flow of your speech.
- Know your work well: More than getting on stage and facing an audience, generally there is more fear about the matter that you are about to present. You think that you may not know your matter well and the audience might pick at you for giving wrong or faulty information. You may worry about not being able to face audience questions. All you have to remember is that if you are sure of your work, do not be nervous.
- Only you know your talk: Many of us also feel that we may go blank or forget something and that would look bad in the eyes of the audience. You need to understand that you are the only one who knows the speech. Since no one out there knows it, if you forget anything, they will not realise it. So be confident even if you forget a few sentences and plough ahead.
- Know your audience: When you know who your audience is going to be, you can start preparing your talk in that direction. You can prepare yourself for all the questions too. You kind of know what they might already know or what they might be expecting out of your talk. It is easier to fulfil their expectations then. You can even interact with a few at the start of your talk to know which line of thought they come from.
- Print your cue cards in large font size: If you use cue cards, larger the font size, better it is to read the content in one quick glance.
- Eye contact: It is exceptionally important to maintain eye contact with your audience. Eye contact allows you to understand if the audience is ‘with you’ on your topic. If you consistently keep reading from a sheet of paper, it is going to become dry and boring. Not only the audience but even you will lose interest soon. Besides, not having good eye contact may give negative signals like boredom, disrespect, uneasiness, etc.
- Storytelling: Storytelling, joking lightens up the atmosphere. As an audience member, it is difficult to stay focused on what is being said for the entire duration. Much of the time, we lose interest in the middle of the talk and our mind wanders. Humour can help get the wandering minds back to the speech. But, remember, whatever you share has to be related and connected to your topic.
- Be positive: As is widely believed, the more you feel or think positive, the more your chances of success. It is said that your subconscious has the power to make you do things that you may otherwise avoid. Hence, philanthropists generally ask you to affirm your sentences and think positively. When you think of achieving success repeatedly, it feels encouraging and it may be likely that you achieve what you thought.
Anxiety and stage performance are not new or rare. Literature says that most famous achievers have faced and overcome this in their life. But if every time you face this challenge, you continue to have excessive, consistent worry and feelings of panic, it is better to seek professional help. A therapy session or pharmacotherapy (for severe panic) may help.